Welcome to my life
by ClumsyCate
Summary: Hey, my name is Bella. I fell in love. He didn't. Well I had though he did. Silly me. Whenever someone brings up his name in a conversation my heart stops beating for a second and I go completely still. Welcome to my life. -based actually on my life-


Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.

"Ugh, what the hell is that noise?" I looked over to my night stand, to my phone. "Crap. Ughhh. Hello?" I questioned as I picked up the phone. It was four in the fucking morning.

"Hey," One simple word and I was wide awake. Shooting straight out of my bed the thin sheet falling right off of my body. I had thought about, dreamt about this boy for months. Jacob Ephraim Black. The cutest, most gorgeous boy I had ever seen in my 15 years of life.

"Oh, umm... Hey?" My face was completely covered in flames by now.

"I got your number from Alice. I was gonna mess with you, but then again there's not much you can do with a phone call." He laughed and hearing him I did too. I was kinda awkward sounding to my ears but it felt good.

"Yeah, I guess." I laughed again. "So whats up?" I would start a conversation with this boy anytime of the day, anywhere.

"Ehh. Not much, I was just thinking about you." His voice got a little deeper.

"Oh?" I somehow managed to squeak out. Here's a little fun fact you should know about me: I'm shy, actually that doesn't cover it. I'm shyer than shy. I blush at the most simple things. Now I had had boyfriends before him, I had talked to boys before, but with him I couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. I could only sense, smell, and hope. Always hope. Oh, and be happy, that too.

"Yeah." He laughed again. I could imagine him running his hands behind his neck. "I guess I should have checked the time first. I guess I'll talk to you later. See you in a few hours. Bye." The he hung up.

"Bye Edward." I sighed.

Well, I definitely wasn't getting any sleep after that. Then, the pure joy hit me. He called me! ME! Isabella Swan, his ex-girlfriend's best friend! I was in complete and total Heaven!

Let me clue you in on the history. In Freshman year I dated a boy named Edward. He was sweet, funny, and all around amazing. While I was dating him, Alice was dating Jacob. A cute Native American boy who was pretty damn awesome himself. Edward and I dated for a little over three months. Then, he moved. He said that we could make it work, that we could still be happy together. I broke up with him, over the phone. Being a total bitch. Alica and Jacob broke up not even a week later. Alice broke up with him, she saw him as too much of a brother. Weeks passed. I dated a random guy, Mike, for a day then broke up with him because attention is good, yes, but there is such a thing as "too much of a good thing." I saw Jacob all over school. We'd always stop and say "hi" to each other, with the standard kiss on the cheek. Simple. Months passed. November turned to April, and I'm dating another boy, a player boy. One and a half weeks, thats how long it last until I break up with him. I didn't need a guy who was trying to move way too fast, trying to get into my pants.

Then, a week later I'm flirting, hardcore, with Jake at drama rehearsals. And spending the whole weekend just thinking about him. Only him. Then, he called!

I was still grinning ear to ear. I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I ended up being late to school. I quickly ran around my room throwing on my tightest jeans and my cutest green top. I kept my hair down, long and red across my back. I felt good. I felt beautiful. I basically ran to school, still smiling the whole way. When I finally got up the three flights of stairs to English I had finally calmed down. I mean, nothing really happened, no need to be too happy.

Walking through the halls all day I nonchalantly looked for him. I couldn't find him anywhere. Different classes, different lunches, different friends. So I'd just wait until rehearsals after school. I could do that.

As the final bell rang in health class, I raced towards the door. When I reached the auditorium I was breathing a little heavy and I was a little freaked out. I mean, I hadn't thought this far ahead. "What if he didn't really like me?" or "maybe I dreamt it" or "its too good to be true." It all flashed through my mind as minutes passed me standing outside the door. Another one, an even scarier thought was "What if he's still in love with Alice?"

"Hey, you okay Bella?" It was him. Shit. Of course he sees me when I look absolutely awful.

"Hey, yeah I'm fine. Just thinking and stuff." I laughed, he smiled at me. Swoon.

"Alright. Why you out here? Let's go inside."

"Oh okay, yeah, cool, awesome." I rushed out. He laughed again. Nice save Bella. I smiled behind his back, proud that I could make him laugh like that.

We went inside. We talked and laughed. Oh, and flirted, heavy.

He leaned in to me and I leaned right back. "Bells, you're gonna need to pull away, because I don't want to." I leaned in even more. Then he kissed me. We kissed and kissed and kissed. Did I mention that we kissed? When we came up for air, I twirled around in my chair with a fierce blush resting on my cheeks. He looked me straight in the eye and asked me to be his girlfriend. I obviously said yes, I'm not stupid.

It was three months of bliss. I NEVER looked at another guy, because none could compare to my amazingly perfect boyfriend. Alice was shocked, she was in love with someone and yet she still thought guys around her were cute. All I could see was him.

Then, things changed. He stopped talking to me. Stopped kissing me. I didn't know what was going on. I cried. All the time. I was at Alice's house I was texting him trying to fix it. Then, Alice called him, under the false pretense that I was cleaning. I wasn't it was on speaker.

He wanted to break-up. He said we didn't know each other well enough. What? Wasn't that what I had been trying to do? I didn't understand. And I still don't. I sobbed hysterically into a pillow. After, he stopped talking to me. He was acting like... like... like me. Break-up, say you wanna be friends, then run. Because I had done it, I knew. And it hurt.

The next year, sophomore year, I was secluded. I became an emotional train wreck. Cutting, crying, screaming at myself, everything. It wasn't JUST him, but it really hadn't helped. Then we became friends, sort of, which just made everything worse. So much harder to deal with. He was there, but not. I was so alone. Or that's how I felt. I was broken. Horribly mangled on the inside.

The school year was finishing and I started to see a counselor at the school. I stopped cutting and started to love myself. Arlene, my counselor, helped me more than she will ever know.

I became a cheerleader, with Marie. We met during what are now called my "Dark Ages." She saw through to who I was. Who I could be. I love her. She and Alice are my best friends through thick and thin. My sisters,

Junior year, I became different. Sarcastic, loving, I wore dresses and skirts and shorts. I was comfortable with myself. I loved myself now. I started talking to boys, a lot of boys. Jerk boys, shallow boys, boys who only really wanted one thing. Each one different, but they all said the same thing, that I was pretty. I liked that. Not them, just their words. Now I see that I wasn't as comfortable with myself as I thought. I needed others telling me. Complimenting me.

Now, Junior year is over. I'm happy. I'm 17 years old and I'm finally, fully happy. Boys don't phase me. Much. I don't need them. And that boy, Jacob, he started everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. Maybe one day I'll thank him for breaking my heart. It made me into who I am today. And for that, I'm grateful.


End file.
